meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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