You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
