R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
