VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
