Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
