Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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