before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Randomize
