He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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