i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
