Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
