high people should be assigned attendants
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
