I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
