You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
