when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
