So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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