Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
