I think I just saw someone hide a body.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
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'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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