hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Well I just put wine in my tea
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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