I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He did a backflip because drugs
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
