I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
