Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Let's get the cat blown out
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
