god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
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She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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