so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
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