I am puke
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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