i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I need to sanitize my soul.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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