I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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