I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
