3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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