How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
