so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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