my soul wont recognize me after tonight
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just found puke in my bra..
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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