whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
