I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
