So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize