And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
