in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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