Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
