Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize