we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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