What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
