guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
