my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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