He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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