New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
