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Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
