I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize