so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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