you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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