he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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