ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
