We tried having a conversation with our noses.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
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Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
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