you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot