dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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