I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.