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• (678): View more from Georgia

  you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.

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  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"

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  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (417): View more from Missouri

  Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  What are best friends for?

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party

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