I look better un-naked...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.