Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus