You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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