in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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