JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
