you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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