Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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