Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me