so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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