The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
