Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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