I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
