You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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