Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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