told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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