I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
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she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
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Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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