I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
