I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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