Why does Corona taste like a burp?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
