did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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