I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
This baby is an asshole
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
